Just abit of happiness

Exam week finally ends....wow!!! but still...don't know what will my result end up like....so hope that it wouldn't be as bad as I imagine....trying very hard to do the best...stressed out these few days....alot of storm hitting my head...need a good rest...and I mean real rest...unfortunately not quite...cause after exam week is piano exam...even worst! my sight reading!!!wish I can get distinction again...also trying harder here....I want to make my life really worth it right now cause since its my time to shine for university....I want to get the best!! I know I can!!! even books are not a real good friends of mine...but still I have to have faith and confidence!!! I need to keep moving foward and face challenges to make me stronger!!! YES!! THAT'S IT!!! AMANDA CHAN TZE EARN!!YOU CAN DO IT!!! I am ready to face any wave and storm... cause this is my life...I'll never know what interesting can be behind all these challenges...like I set my life..a game...this is just the begining...as I go to a higher level...I will build more memories... more fun...more exciting....I know I can!

All of my good friends are doing quite well in their studies...we still keep in contact...just kinda miss them cause never got the chance to actually meet them...cause always not the right timing...if its not me who is busy then its them...so kinda need to find the right time...it will come..just need to be patient...

My lover?? well....I am speechless...I don't know how to start...its like he is just fulfilling my wishes but not understanding what I need and what I want or hope for...I mean....I don't know..I am really spechless and in pain right now when I come to think of it...but the game have to continue..my life has to move on...maybe over some time I will get over it...I just need more time to heal...sure I can...I mean there are so many other lover than might really suite me out there... maybe even better....wait till I finish my senior year and into university! and OMG!!! ring a bell!!! even hotter and charming and nice guy!!! just wait....be patient...I will be stronger day by day...it just takes time....

Level 6

Today my brain is actually working...in a well and great manner...I wish it will function better next week as it is an exam week...gotta score it! BULL'S EYE!!! I must believe I can..which means I have to work extra hard on all my subject...by the way...the UNKNOWN CREATURE gets a hall of fire from me...which is EXTRA LARGE....good for him...I've been patient enough to hold my temper due to his BITCH ACTION! for a person hot tempered like me...I am very lenient enough to be patient with him...at last I cannot hold it much longer...it all started when I am making sure those who are on duty(sweeping) while doing my revision cause..well I am the head of cleanliness, but what I am so mad about is that those painting stuff(we use to paint our class) I put it in class a the timing, he uses the paint brush to sweep the bits and pieces on the floor into the duster!!! I mean I don't mind him helping them to clean the class..but using MY paintbrush!! that's too much!! not just it will spoil the paintbrush but also dirty it...besides he can't even conduct his duty well...and still need me to remind and now stirring trouble again..as if I don't have enough trouble to solve!!! SUCH UNKNOWN CREATURE!!!!! SOOOO UNKNOWN!!!!!!!!! no wonder he cannot distinguish a broom with a paintbrush....such a looser...and actually wanted to show of in class...makes me wanna puke.........

Keeping contacted with my BFF's lately...glad they are well and glad...I love you all so much... you all are the greatest friends I have ever had....they are the ones who supports and guide me.. I really appreciate u guys...

Finally we talk it through...solve our problems..letting it out what is bothering us as well as our true feelings...guess its true that having a one to one talk is much better than having a middle person to help send the word...and now we're great...I know that someday you will surely come back to me....its just a matter of time..and I am willing to wait and believe in you...and the day finally came....I promise I'll do whatever it takes to hold our relationship....I LOVE YOU FOREVER....even if the world is upside down, still I will never change my mind...

Sweet,Sour and Bitter

Yes!! I know I sure can do it!!! Yeah to my listening test!!! but speaking test was abit bleak but have to work on it also....Anyway, I don't want to have enemies anymore...but still there people who does'nt understand the meaning by looking at the mirror! Its a boy...damn rude...showing off...guess everyone knows the "Darlie" toothpaste? yup, he is the black man...I mean does anyone ever teach him MORALITY!!?? or maybe the basic thing such as keep the "trying to get attention" for himself to swallow...oh wait,thre is no one to teach him...he is from Afrika...a foreigner, no wonder...no, no, no...even African have education...he is totally out of the education civillization...I know!! probably he is from a different planet...a Martian maybe...such a pity..no wonder he have a problem of lack of attention...I mean ALIENS right...so its abnormal...
The other one? also a boy...such a bitch dog!!! worst than a dog!! I don't know what kind of creature is he....DAMN HIM!!! what is thre so hard to confess rather than causing innocent people to take up the responsibility for him!! never learn to confess!!! another FREAK SHOW!!! when being questioned, try to hide the facial expression of afraidness which is so obvious...and others actually have to take up his SHIT work!!! so UNFAIR!! what a USELESS BRAT!! he don't even have his own personality...I guess that is why he love to copy other people's style...or hanging out with people that are lovable by the others just to be LOVABLE and TO GET THE ATTENTION!!! GO TO HELL!!!! I mean what is that all about...LOVABLE!? not in a thousand years....even until the extiction of mankind...its like WHATEVER LOOSER!!! even every dog has their own style...so you see...obviously he is worst than a dog...an unknown creature that could actually survive in our planet...CURIOUS.....
Lastly...another Bitch!! yup suprisingly...she is useless...she can't even handle a tiny little work... not helping but causing more trouble...trying to act cool? GO TO HELL!!! another huamncopier.. so dumb..but act like she is smart....her smile? laughter? EEWWW!!!! YUCK!!! MAKES ME VOMIT!!! luckily evertime she does that, I haven't or didn't take my branch..if not I am the first one ending up in the toilet...trying to get my attention by talking to me?? no thanks...I don't talk to BITCHES, PLASTICS, MORONS, ALIENS or MARTIANS or UNKNOWN CREATURES!!!!
you might wanna guess why she wants to talk to me to get my attention? yup, obviously she is inspired by my talent...thank you...and I forgot, she is just in a choir group...because there is one time she actually ask about singing...I am telling you...its so obvious that she is soooo inspired that I do solo not choir....what a BLEAK!!! thank you for your admirement...but I never ask for it...so SHUT UP!!! and stop talking to me cause you are a BITCH!!! plain BITCH!!!

So sad that nobody can attend my piano concert...but I can understand cause its close to the exam date and yeah I am even packed cause I have a concert on the 14th, exam on the 16th and exam (piano) on the 24th....wow!!! such packed up....but still kinda sad...cause I was expecting more supporters would go....by the way...time flies and all my BFFs are going back again...after their short holidays...kinda miss them alot...wish they were here to laugh out all our problems...

My lover?? well still with the silence treatment...but as I said...I will still wait no matter what...cause I am deeply and trully in LOVE with him...untill I actually don't care what it takes to get just a single respond from him..untill I am willing to give up my reputation for him... just for him ONLY....cause I can't see myself anymore....due to the drowning of my love in him....

Dying With Laughters

Today was a sinking day...why? well thanks to all my "gooooood" teachers that we have to do their homework on the spot to pass up on the same day even when they're not around... anyway, listening mock test today was a bleak to me...DAMN!!! how can I be so careless that I can't do my best...I can't stay forever this way if I want to reach my goal...yup definitely have to try harder try until I am at the top of my goal....I MUST!!! I CAN!!! besides everyone have the same brain, eat the same type of food,study in the same school and class...so no excuses...AMANDA, SURE YOU CAN!!! so stress out today because August is the most packed month for me... luckily some of my classmate told me us some jocks and I was like laughing untill my tears comes out....after than real laughter I actually forgot all about my worries and tensions...it really gives me a relieve..thanks guys...

I think my BFF's are back!! goin out on Friday!!! WOHOO!!! miss them alot..seriously...so glad to hear from them! sisters reunion!!! so much to talk about...new life, colleages, gossips and so much more....so excited...

To my lover....I am still waiting even though you don't want to pick up my phone or reply me but its ok...I understand...I just hope that you are safe and sound...I love you forever in my heart from the day we are together till now and forever...I will not give up....

TOMORROW LISTENING TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NERVOUS MUCH!!! MUST GET HUGHEST SCORE!!!! WISH ME LUCK!!!!

The Game Mode Changes

Finally the time has come when everyone needs to go their own way....sure miss them alot but happy for them though....congrats to you all that your dreams are coming true^^ On the other hand,there are some of them is stuck with me for another 1 1/2 year...hahahahaha!!!!!! Just joking,you guys are incredible too...its just that we are in the same boat to reach our destination..


As for my BFFs I miss you guys so much....hope you guys do well in your studies...don't forget to call when you are back....we can go shopping and feasting...muahahahaha!!!! I can imagine we will spend your holiday break by doing these activity!!!! Fun much!!!!

STPM is what I am taking..I just hope I will get flying colours on my every test...glad all my subject teachers are great,except for one or two...whoever studying with me knows who are the "goooood" teacher...XP and our "bessssst friend" who focus on academic too much or what the children call a nerd....wakakakakakaka!!!!!!!!!! and homework is burrying me....I feel like I am in university sometimes...maybe its because of the assignments and presentation....no break for air....guess that's the life in Pre-U,keeps us ready for the next challenge...

To who my heart ever belong....I really love you no matter what...even though it takes me a thousand years I will still wait...and I hope you can tell me the truth so I can share some of your burdens...I guess it's because I love you more than I can see myself....this is the first time I love someone so deeply......because I actually never blame him for giving me this silent treatment but just to share his problems with me....guess I fell in love for him in a passion manner...

Heavy Loads........too heavy.....

I am specchless..........trully speechless.......guess the prince love blonde hair more than black hair........and life is just not the the same anymore......not that I am too over reacting but......what I wish for quitely never seems to achieve even abit.......
Anyway....its so so so sad that my best BFF's is pulling this line longer over the distance that I can't even see her..............maybe its time for me to jsut let go of all of my loads.......I very very tired carrying all these......and it causes me to be sspechless now................

Confuse....

I really don't know what I did wrong....its just that we are so near but yet our lives keep us too busy to make a call....if not working then we are all totally wipe out to call....felt so sorry for his b'day....trully.....I wish one thing in the whole wide world that is His Call just one will do...I really dont ask for much.....I really wish I can share the star view every night with him...it is just so incredible....so beautiful..its undescrible....I so wanted to share that with him...
Anyway....so happy to have my BF and my good friends around....love them...we go out to lunch twice and makes me feel like we are young adults already....wahahahaha......but still I am quite worry about one of my BF.....maybe this is the time for her to just settle down and maybe one day her eyes will trully open....I dont know...I'll pray....
Well it seems that I really really miss band,debate and my chinese drama collegeus....really....trully miss all of it 100%.....I miss the time we practise,share,laugh even when we are scolded during prac its like it is craved in my heart and memory.....suddenly I feel like time flies to fast....it doesnt give us more time to keep this lovable moment or a chance for us to just stay there...and together just refresh everything that is sweet together.....time is so cruel.....its like a memorywashing machine...such evil...I just dnt knw why.....